I hate review time at work. Since this is my first one at this particular company, I got to see whether or not the past six months have been worth my while. I guess it went ok.
The shit-kicker is, my boss has left the company. Today was actually his last day, and one of the things he wanted to get out of the way before he left was the reviews for the whole team. He wasn't really doing the whole review though, he was just prepping the person who was going to take over for him. Kind of like a mid-year review, even though it's the end of November. So I go into this meeting with him, flush from running back and forth from the printer for the last half-hour (all first thing in the morning, mind you), carrying an armload of paper 3/4 of an inch thick thinking I have to prove to him, with hard copies, that I'm a good hard-working employee and he shouldn't have any reason to doubt that.
So after all that, after sweating bullets all night and all morning, after the months of agonizing self-doubt thinking that I'm nothing more than a hack and I'm not going to prove anything to him and he should just fire me and get it over with - AFTER ALL THAT - he only looks at one document. Not only that, but we spend more than half-an-hour talking about all the things I have to get done before the end of the year to properly meet my performance objectives. Because in another three weeks, I'm going to have to do this all over again before my reputation will be finalized.
See, I didn't get this job the old fashion way - well, maybe I did in this day and age - but I didn't just apply and rely on my natural charm and expertise to beat out hundreds of other applicants and wow the shit out of my boss. No, my dad set this interview up for me. At the time, he was VP of Operations at this company, so I was a bit of a shoe-in.
So all the time that I've been here, there's been this nagging thought running through the back of my mind: "Do I really belong here? Would I have been able to get this job without my dad's assistance? Or are they all just humoring him by letting me play IT monkey for a little while? I should just get out of this industry altogether." Well, today I was going to find out, one way or another. I wanted to ask them for some real feedback - not just a cursory pat on the back and a thumbs up with fingers crossed behind their back. I guess I really didn't have to, because as I was listening to my boss discuss with me how I was doing on some of the more obscurely-worded points of my OPR, I realized that maybe I'm not doing so bad after all. At one point, my boss even said he was "pleasantly surprised" at how I just kind of hit the ground running.
Understand, when I talk about the people at the company humoring dad by letting me play IT monkey for a little while, I wasn't serious. Nor do I really think that's what's going on; rather I've just been so wracked with self-doubt over the last few months that I've almost convinced myself it's the truth.
Maybe that means it's time to strike out on my own. Hmm...
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
More on the radmobile
So Tyler got word back from the cops that the CSI-ification of his car is done. Now he has to wait for the insurance company to assess the damage and cut him a cheque. He gets a courtesy car in the interim, and because the car was stolen, he doesn't have to pay the deductable. I'm glad that everything is working out.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Ok, maybe I should explain
I got into work yesterday morning and was just starting my day when I got a call. It was my roommate.
"Did you see my car this morning?!?"
"No."
"For fuck's sake. Somebody stole my car."
Now, you gotta understand the history this car has. When my roommate turned 16, his dad promised to restore him a car. Nine and a half years later, he finally delivers. A month later, I get the above phone call. And all this time, this car has had the crap hyped out of it. I mean, there's been so much publicity on this car that you'd think it was the second coming of Christ. Well, if Christ were a '78 Monte Carlo at least...
Anyway, I told him to call the impound lot before freaking out, just in case it got towed for whatever reason. Turns out it actually was stolen and he had to call the cops. So I promised I'd buy a bottle of something on the way home and then got on with my day.
After I got home and we got into the bottle (hence my grammatical difficulties below), we watched some more episodes of Scrubs and toasted the radmobile. A little while later when we were good and toasted and Tyler had gone upstairs to pass out, we got a call from the police.
It seems the radmobile was involved in a high-speed chase with the cops. They didn't say what the people in the car were on their way to do, but what they did find in their possessions were four bellaclavas and a handgun.
Apparently there wasn't a whole lot of damage to the car, but the police wanted to keep it for a bit while they CSI-ify it. After that, the insurance company wants to get their grubby little mitts on it while they assess the damage before cutting Tyler a check.
Stay tuned...
"Did you see my car this morning?!?"
"No."
"For fuck's sake. Somebody stole my car."
Now, you gotta understand the history this car has. When my roommate turned 16, his dad promised to restore him a car. Nine and a half years later, he finally delivers. A month later, I get the above phone call. And all this time, this car has had the crap hyped out of it. I mean, there's been so much publicity on this car that you'd think it was the second coming of Christ. Well, if Christ were a '78 Monte Carlo at least...
Anyway, I told him to call the impound lot before freaking out, just in case it got towed for whatever reason. Turns out it actually was stolen and he had to call the cops. So I promised I'd buy a bottle of something on the way home and then got on with my day.
After I got home and we got into the bottle (hence my grammatical difficulties below), we watched some more episodes of Scrubs and toasted the radmobile. A little while later when we were good and toasted and Tyler had gone upstairs to pass out, we got a call from the police.
It seems the radmobile was involved in a high-speed chase with the cops. They didn't say what the people in the car were on their way to do, but what they did find in their possessions were four bellaclavas and a handgun.
Apparently there wasn't a whole lot of damage to the car, but the police wanted to keep it for a bit while they CSI-ify it. After that, the insurance company wants to get their grubby little mitts on it while they assess the damage before cutting Tyler a check.
Stay tuned...
Friday, November 18, 2005
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I'm a friggin' uncle!!!
My sister gave birth to my first nephew this morning. He weighed in at a healthy 7lbs., 9oz. After an intense 36-hour ordeal, both mother and baby are doing fine. I'll post pictures as they come.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Bored and musing...
Today marks another one of my self-centered feeling-sorry-for-myself rants that ultimately serves no purpose other than letting me bitch about things that are probably quite easy to fix. Ready?
I saw an old family friend at my dad's birthday part last week. I'm not entirely sure what he does, but he works for the Pentacostal Assemblies of Canada and I was telling him and his wife about the difficulties I recently had with my previous church. I told them that I would like to get back to into the whole swing of things, and he told me to email him and he'd give me some details about a good church in town I can get in with. Still haven't done it yet. I'm still in one of my regular slumps where I do nothing but pine about things that are really not that big of a deal.
There are rumors of layoffs at my job this coming week. Not sure what it'll mean for me. On the one hand, I have a certain amount of protection because my dad's the COO. On the other hand, sometimes managers like to lay off certain people that they want to get rid of but can't justify firing. I really don't know if that'll happen. I hope not, but I sometimes get the feeling that when I was hired, it was implicitly understood that I would be swept under the rug and left alone. Some may think that's not too bad, but what the hell's the point of me being there?
Walking away with a lay-off package would be kind of nice though. I'd kind of like to travel around a bit, maybe get a new car and take a drive for a few months. Or fly to England and visit my sister and her husband. I know Jon's going to take some time off and travel around Asia, which I think is great. Who says you have to conform to everyone else's idea of how to live life?
Oh who am I kidding? I want to play drums. I want to be sitting in a crowded bar (which is kind of strange because I hate crowds) and have all the cute girls looking at me as I do my thing. How do I do that?
Well, I guess with my experience, I would go back to church and back in the saddle. Playing music is the only time in my life when I felt good about myself, like I was doing something that I could be proud of. Oh, I've been to University, I have my degree, I'm right now working towards getting my CCNA (oh shit, I have to study...), but all that has paled in comparison to how I felt about myself when I was on stage banging on the skins.
Damnit, I'm going to email John about that church.
There. Hope something comes of it.
I saw an old family friend at my dad's birthday part last week. I'm not entirely sure what he does, but he works for the Pentacostal Assemblies of Canada and I was telling him and his wife about the difficulties I recently had with my previous church. I told them that I would like to get back to into the whole swing of things, and he told me to email him and he'd give me some details about a good church in town I can get in with. Still haven't done it yet. I'm still in one of my regular slumps where I do nothing but pine about things that are really not that big of a deal.
There are rumors of layoffs at my job this coming week. Not sure what it'll mean for me. On the one hand, I have a certain amount of protection because my dad's the COO. On the other hand, sometimes managers like to lay off certain people that they want to get rid of but can't justify firing. I really don't know if that'll happen. I hope not, but I sometimes get the feeling that when I was hired, it was implicitly understood that I would be swept under the rug and left alone. Some may think that's not too bad, but what the hell's the point of me being there?
Walking away with a lay-off package would be kind of nice though. I'd kind of like to travel around a bit, maybe get a new car and take a drive for a few months. Or fly to England and visit my sister and her husband. I know Jon's going to take some time off and travel around Asia, which I think is great. Who says you have to conform to everyone else's idea of how to live life?
Oh who am I kidding? I want to play drums. I want to be sitting in a crowded bar (which is kind of strange because I hate crowds) and have all the cute girls looking at me as I do my thing. How do I do that?
Well, I guess with my experience, I would go back to church and back in the saddle. Playing music is the only time in my life when I felt good about myself, like I was doing something that I could be proud of. Oh, I've been to University, I have my degree, I'm right now working towards getting my CCNA (oh shit, I have to study...), but all that has paled in comparison to how I felt about myself when I was on stage banging on the skins.
Damnit, I'm going to email John about that church.
There. Hope something comes of it.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
At my parents house
Highlights of the party at my mom and dad's house last night:
- One of my dad's work friends getting so drunk that he first hugged my grandfather goodbye, whom he'd never met and wasn't leaving anyway.
- That same guy coming outside to have a smoke with my cousin and I and talking about university and how it's good for nothing more than fucking ("You in University, you have a prick dis long..."). It's was hilarious. Aww, what can ya do? He was french. He must have been having a lot to drink that night, because he next started telling us that his two daughters are in University this year back in Montreal. The younger one is hot too. She worked in Calgary for the summer for the same company I did and the way she was running around makes me think she's going to get a lot out of University this year.
- The Vice President of Finance at my company showing everyone outside her "CFM Boots", which, for the uneducated among us, she graciously translated into "Come Fuck Me" boots.
- My mother and her four brothers dancing to The Animal's "House of the Rising Sun" at 3:30 in the morning. Damn kids and their rock music...
- My dad's good friend and right-hand man at work giving him birthday presents fit for a newly-minted 50 year old in front of 45 people. Things like a home prostate exam (complete with rubber finger), a book entitled "Sex After 50" that was completely blank between the covers, and a pill box split into seven compartments labeled for each day of the week. The funniest part of that is my uncle pulling out the very same type of box at breakfast that morning and downing a mouthful of pills. I don't think he was too impressed with that.
That's about it, that I can remember. I fell asleep at about 1:00am, and was woken up unceremoniously at 3:30 by item three up there.
Damn kids...
- One of my dad's work friends getting so drunk that he first hugged my grandfather goodbye, whom he'd never met and wasn't leaving anyway.
- That same guy coming outside to have a smoke with my cousin and I and talking about university and how it's good for nothing more than fucking ("You in University, you have a prick dis long..."). It's was hilarious. Aww, what can ya do? He was french. He must have been having a lot to drink that night, because he next started telling us that his two daughters are in University this year back in Montreal. The younger one is hot too. She worked in Calgary for the summer for the same company I did and the way she was running around makes me think she's going to get a lot out of University this year.
- The Vice President of Finance at my company showing everyone outside her "CFM Boots", which, for the uneducated among us, she graciously translated into "Come Fuck Me" boots.
- My mother and her four brothers dancing to The Animal's "House of the Rising Sun" at 3:30 in the morning. Damn kids and their rock music...
- My dad's good friend and right-hand man at work giving him birthday presents fit for a newly-minted 50 year old in front of 45 people. Things like a home prostate exam (complete with rubber finger), a book entitled "Sex After 50" that was completely blank between the covers, and a pill box split into seven compartments labeled for each day of the week. The funniest part of that is my uncle pulling out the very same type of box at breakfast that morning and downing a mouthful of pills. I don't think he was too impressed with that.
That's about it, that I can remember. I fell asleep at about 1:00am, and was woken up unceremoniously at 3:30 by item three up there.
Damn kids...
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Quickie
Just a quick note to catch up on a few things.
I'm heading to Vancouver tomorrow evening for six days. I'll try to update, if I can think of something during that time, but I'm going to be pretty busy with Dad's birthday party.
Congratulations to Jon for finally quitting his job! He's been bitching and moaning about it for months (for good reason, let me tell you), and now he's said "screw you all!" Good job bud.
I'm heading to Vancouver tomorrow evening for six days. I'll try to update, if I can think of something during that time, but I'm going to be pretty busy with Dad's birthday party.
Congratulations to Jon for finally quitting his job! He's been bitching and moaning about it for months (for good reason, let me tell you), and now he's said "screw you all!" Good job bud.
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